My God, My God
I feel broken and bruised.
I’m trying to understand
but my emotions are confused.
Life is a nightmare.
God, please! Turn on the lights.
I’m tired of all this pain.
I’m tired of all the sleepless nights.
Sometimes life JUST sucks. Sometimes no matter what you do, you just can’t win. Sometimes… you have to hold on to any hope you can and just embrace the storm.
For example, I had an entire plan for this series but if I can be honest, it’s taking everything in me just to write this one. Why? Because life just sucks right now…
When I first launched this website, I used the poem 27 Years which was written in a really hard time. I remember sitting in the ICU waiting room for days just waiting for my grandma to get better. Unfortunately since sharing that poem, my grandma hasn’t gotten any better and has spent weeks in and out of ICU.
Last week, things turned for the worse and I found myself dropping everything and making the 2+ hour drive to the hospital again. This time though, things were different – instead of the doctors giving us hopeful updates, we’re told she’s chronically ill and her chances for recovery are slim.
The more I sit in the ICU waiting room, the more I am reminded that this life is so fragile and there are so many things we can’t control. Just like I can’t control what happens to my grandma, I can’t control what happens to you.
But what if we chose everyday to control the things we actually can? What if instead of whining and complaining about our problems, we did something about it to resolve them?
What if we actually looked at our life as a gift and quit wasting precious time? What if instead of scrolling our phone, we spent time making memories with others?
All I know is I want more out of this life. I want to cherish the people around me and make the most of the time that I do have. I want to love myself and actually put in the work to create the best version of me – even if it hurts. (EVEN IF IT BURNS)
When I’m nearing death, I don’t want to think about all the things I should have done but want to be proud of the person I was and the things I did do. Although I want these for me, I also want them for you.
How would you live different if you actually knew your time was near?
FIREPLACE POETRY 
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